For all those who don’ know what Whiplr is, it is basically a kinkier version of Tinder. It is a dating site where you can list what your kinks are, whether you are Dom/Sub/Switch and what your safe word is etc. I first found this app via Sexhibition UK as it is the sponsor for their event on August 22nd in Manchester.
Now, I joined this app and was meant to do 24hrs but I actually only managed about 12 hours just because it was draining my battery so much – so apologies for that.. So here is my story of Whiplr.
Setting up a profile is extremely easy and the app itself is very simple to navigate around so kudos for that. once my profile was uploaded it was now time to wait. For this test, I wanted to see how many people I would attract from my profile [see picture below]
So now it was time to wait, 5 minutes into the app and it crashed, which meant I had to shut it down, force close it and start it again. This wasn’t a huge issue but a nuisance, so I get back into the app and have 3 messages waiting for me. The first one is a male in a relationship, second a guy who has said ‘Sex toy tester? That must be a fun job, can I join in?’ and the third being a girl who greeted me nicely. So let’s start with the couple, I was pleasantly surprised to find many couples on this app, who are either looking for a third (normally female) to join them for a night, or to swing. They seemed very pleasant and even after I told them I was just on the app to make friends and not interested in joining them, they still spoke to me. I had asked them what made them want to have a threesome, to which he responded “my wife is interested in experimenting with a girl, and who am I to stop her? As long as I can join in, I don’t mind lol” Can’t disagree with that logic really.. I asked if they would not get jealous and he told me they have boundaries for this;
1) it is to be a female only.
2) He must not have full intercourse with the joining lady.
3) If either are uncomfortable during the experience at all, the safe word is mentioned and all sexual activity is to be stopped and the lady returned home.
Although they have not yet had another person join them in the bedroom, they are adamant that they both want this to happen. After a few hours of chatting and 3 pictures of his cat later, I wished them good luck and I offered my details if they wanted to still keep on contact – which they did, yay!
So, 15 minutes into the app and I have been sent 3 dick pictures. Even though in my profile it states they will be blocked.. It really amazes me at why guys do this because every female I have asked does not appreciate a random dick popping up in their DM, whether it be in any social media form. I personally find it rude. Would you walk down the street, coming up to me – a complete stranger – and whip your cock out? No? Then why do it online?
Going back to the girl, the chat started off very nice and polite with small talk of ‘How are you?’ I admit I was stereotyping her and expected her to be nicer than the guys. She was telling about how hung over she was because some guy kept buying her drinks, to which I responded ‘Well you didn’t have to drink them‘. ‘I didn’t want to seem rude‘ she replied.. not the best mentality to have on a night out but anyway.. after a bit more chatting and 10 minutes later she tried to start sexting with me about how she wants me in a nurses outfit to help her feel better. I told her I was not into that and tried to carry on normally. She then started to demand pictures off of me. I stated I wasn’t comfortable and wished her a good day. She kept badgering me to the point of harassment and I eventually blocked her. I guess it’s not just the guys who can’t take ‘No‘ for an answer..
About 80% of the guys started off their conversation with me with the following ‘great job‘ or ‘is that really your job?‘ or ‘do you need a hand testing anything?‘ on one side, at least they actually took the time to read my profile, and it is a great starter to a conversation, on the other hand I don’t want guys coming up to me asking if I want to test out sex toys with them. One of the guys did actually open up with ‘Let me tie you up and test those toys on you‘ They may as well have said ‘Let’s have sex now‘ but alas, at least they were more creative. Some of them I was able to continue a conversation for a little bit, others were just interested in sexting and a few more gave up and didn’t speak to me again once I told them I had a boyfriend and was just here for friends.
2 hours + into the app and my battery has drained 50% ..
This is basically how the rest of my time on Whiplr went, with a handful of exceptions that I had funny and enjoyable conversations with. It would take far to long to tell every conversation I had whilst on this app, but have selected a few which stuck out for me. Now, this doesn’t mean to say that everyone on the app is like this, as I have said, I found a handful of people who I connected with and continue to speak to outside of the app. Which in my experience, is the same as any other dating site.
A lot of people who I had spoken to about this app has said how friendly everyone was, I disagree with this statement fully and I will explain why. There is a difference between friendly, and being open to sending anyone messages. One of the great thinks about this app is that everyone is on there because they had a fetish, into BDSM or are looking to experiment, which is fantastic. I would also say this is a bad reason for the app though. Because the people assume you are looking to talk about the kinks and start sexting straight away without being a ‘normal’ human being first. Yes I am into submissive activities and yes I like being tied up with rope, but no I do not want YOU to be that person and definitely not now you have opened up a conversation that way. What has happened to getting to know each other better first? To go on a few normal dates before I trust you enough to tie me up and spank me? I feel as though many of the people on there have seen some porn movies and have recreated it, but don’t seem to grasp the bigger picture. That to be a Dom, it isn’t about being mean, its about caring wholeheartedly about your Sub but punishing her when needed. And vice versa, being a Sub does not mean to let the man do whatever he pleases with you, it is about respecting each other and knowing and talking about your boundaries before, during and after.
I wouldn’t consider it a complete fail, If you know what you are looking for and aren’t prude or worried of bantering with the ‘lads’ then you’ll do fine. I, myself, am a very sarcastic person to talk to, which most of the males on this app did not appreciate. They wanted me to be ‘their little submissive’, not talk back and surrender to everything they say. First of all, that isn’t how this works. You aren’t just suddenly in a Dom/Sub relationship, you have to build foundations, so don’t be rude to me just because I have a backbone and aren’t afraid to speak my mind.
Overall, Yes I think it is a good idea for an app, there are a couple of bugs that need to be fixed and needs to stop draining my battery. I also think the people who are new to the BDSM world and are looking to explore their kinkier side – yes this is a great app for but be aware of who you are talking to, and take it lightheartedly. Just because a guy is asking for a nude selfie, doesn’t mean you have to send one. If you start to feel uncomfortable – block them.
Breakdown: 12 hrs
Number of people blocked 10
Dick pics received 9
Total amount of people spoken to 26
Numbers given 5
People I still interact with 3